Did you ever ride the Scrambler when you were a kid? It was a ride that jerked you all over the place in a matter of seconds. I loved that ride when I was younger but I'm not sure I care for the real life Scrambler I'm on now. My husband and I have decided to separate after 12 years of marriage. It wasn't something we planned for or really wanted. But here we are anyways. My emotions remind me of the Scrambler. One minute I'm crying uncontrollably the next minute I might be yelling. I'm all over the place never knowing from one minute to the next what I'll feel. As I go through this I'm beginning to realize there is a purpose for my feelings. I need to yell to get the anger out. I will cry until I can't. My heart needs to ache so it will begin to mend. The loneliness will help me to see myself in a new light. The thing I know for sure is that God has been with me through every step, every outburst, every tear. He comforts me when I lie awake half the night. All of this will help me seek God more, experience his love that is true and unconditional and trust Him like never before. And when I finally get off the ride I will be able to look back and see how God's mighty hand was working.
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